What wives won’t say: So I get labeled a ‘pick me’ a lot of times in my comment section by women. And it’s mainly women who are single or not in a committed, any type of seriously committed relationship. Even though I’ve been married for 17 years now going on 18 years, I still get labeled as a pick me. Now, that doesn’t disturb me at all. It does not because, at least,
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I got picked, and I didn’t get rejected, right? So I feel sorry for those types of women who label me as a pick me. Oh, well, but here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. You know, there are some secrets or there are some things that a lot of married women know that they won’t tell single women. But these single women need to know this. And let me start by saying this. The number may not be the number one thing, but one of the things that married women know that single women need to know is this: is this one thing? There’s a reality of marriage. And then there’s a fantasy of marriage. Married women know and understand that true marriage, a healthy marriage, does not live off of fantasy. Fantasy is something that every woman.
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Almost every woman creates in her mind, whether she created it as a little girl growing up or, you know, she fantasized about what it would be like to be married when she was growing up or whatever the case may be. The majority of women, whether they want to admit it or not, majority of women. And I’m talking about biological women who have had some fantasy, you know, pertaining to, you know, what it would be like for me to be married. Right. But the thing is, you cannot build any successful marriage, any happy marriage, any healthy marriage on fantasy what you see on social media. Social media should be taken as entertainment.
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As someone who has been married for over a decade, social media should be taken as entertainment. If you try to create a real marriage from what you see on social media, Social media, you’re going to be digging a deep grave for yourself and you’re going to fall into it. Okay. And that means that you’re, you’re creating trouble for yourself. They, it’d be hard for you to pull yourself out of. Okay. So, and then there’s the second thing that I do want to talk about is there’s, you know, once, once women get married, there’s this emotional and mental shift. Once you sign on the dotted line that you are married. You are now legally married. Take, for instance, people who have been dating for like, let’s say they’ve been dating for seven years, and they get married. And two years after getting married, they get divorced. But what happened? People want to know what happened. They have been dating for seven years, and they seem to be fine. And the moment they got married, chaos ensued, and boom, that marriage only lasted two years, and then they got divorced.
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A lot of, a lot of you people watching this video will, you know, have your own stories that you’ve either heard of or that you’ve actually experienced firsthand. There is an emotional shift and a mental shift that happens once you get married. And this is my take on why this happens. You know, because I’m a Christian, I believe that God created the institution of marriage. So those who choose to participate in that institution of marriage, there is. A divine responsibility that is put on you. And once you take on that divine responsibility, some blessings come right along with it. So if you, if there’s a mental and emotional shift that’s supposed to happen and you never shifted in order to receive your divine responsibility and blessing, then that’s when you’re going to have trouble. And that’s when, you know, a year or a couple of months or even a couple of hours after getting married. You annul the marriage, or you get divorced. So, understand that marriage is a huge responsibility because there’s going to be personal growth and, and development happening. Once you sign on the dotted line that you are now legally married, single women need to know this. Only single women who are seeking marriage need to understand this. A lot of the chaos that happens in marriages, you know, stems from that premise that there’s an emotional and mental shift that happens. And you’ve got to shift right along with it because God has given you divine responsibility and blessings that come with that responsibility. So you have to step in line right away and begin to shift right along with it. As you and your husband are developing together and creating your marriage together. Hopefully, you, you, you pair-bonded with the right man. The right leader, the right protector, the right provider, that assertive man that most women say they want so that things can go smoothly or at least easier for you to bear, for both of you to bear. The third thing I want to talk about is for a single woman to understand that this word submission that almost every woman is afraid of or can’t stand or gets triggered by: relax. Relax.
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Submission is not a demonic word. It is a blessing. Okay. If the Bible speaks about the submissive wife, what type of blessings she gets in return? She gets the type of man who will lay his life down for her and provide for her. Okay. And I’m not talking about finances alone. And even in the provision of finances, I’m not talking about a man who covers all her bills. Wow. She gets to use her money only on herself. No, that is selfishness. And the Bible speaks against selfishness. I’m talking about providing in every which way financially, emotionally, and, um, in other ways that the man is a provider. Okay. The other thing that the fourth thing I want to talk about is intimacy and connection. When you get married at some point, it’s going to go down. Down. Now, what are you going to do to bring it back up, to make it fun, to make it exciting, to make it more intimate? What are you going to do? You have to start thinking about those things. And this is something that, um, a lot of married women do not talk about, you know, primarily because they get called a ‘pick-me’. When married women come out on these social media streets and start talking to single women, that doesn’t make any sense. They start calling them ‘pick-me’s. So married women hold onto their secrets and go live their happily married lives, leaving these single women out here with that type of mindset to roam around planet Earth, acting all stupid and crazy, looking like they don’t have any good head on their shoulders. So, you single women who are looking to get married, just remember that once you get married, the intimacy and connection you have with your husband, both of you, is going to dwindle at some point. So you have to be ready to do the things that you need to do within the confines of your marriage of vows to bring it back up to speed. Think about that. Okay. As you are planning to get married or as you’re looking for your lifelong partner, your lifelong spouse, your lifelong husband, or your lifelong wife. Okay. The fifth thing I want to talk about is this. When you get married, friends and family are going to do the best that they can to influence your marriage, whether it be in a good way or in a bad way. Just understand that it is natural and it is normal for friends and family to try to be all up in your business.
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It is up to you to be able to control and control how much influence friends and family can have over your marriage. You’ve got to think about these things and put barriers and boundaries in place so that one day you don’t wake up in your marriage and you no longer have control over your marriage. It’s now your friends and your family that are commanding you and dictating what you should be doing in your marriage. You have to be able to develop that marital backbone. And make sure that you are able to put those boundaries around, you know, friends and family influencing how much influence they can have over your marriage. Okay. The sixth thing I want to talk about is conflict resolution. When you get married, if you’re single now, you’re probably, you know, doing your own thing. You’re not; you’re not; you’re not caring so much about how to resolve conflict because you’re not necessarily in a marriage. But once you get married, oh my goodness, you have to pull from everything you have learned about conflict resolution. Hopefully while you’re single, you are learning how to resolve conflict because if you’re single and you want to get married, just be rest assured that you are going to have to be a master at respectfully resolving conflict. Because ladies, listen. Listen to me very carefully. If you are not respectful in resolving conflict, if you are not respectful in or emotionally stable. Okay, when you’re dealing with your husband, to resolve conflict as much as possible, resolve it to where both of you are not screaming, hollering, yelling at each other, or calling each other out your names.
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Then. I don’t know. I don’t know what to tell you. And ladies, here’s a tip for you. Don’t let yourself get to the point where you’re trying to match your husband’s energy. That is a big no-no. I mean, you are free. Listen, God has given everyone the freedom to do whatever it is that they want to do. Okay, no one is going to stop you. But ladies, if you are married or if single ladies, if you’re if you’re your intent is to get married, know and understand. Listen to the words that I’m speaking to you right now. If at any point when you do get married, your husband is on this level. Don’t you ever you’re going to have to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and to help control you.Don’t you ever; it’s not in your best interest, and it will not benefit you in any way, shape, or form to match your husband’s energy when it comes to conflict. If there is, you know, if both of you are, you know, at can’t reason, if there’s something that both of you cannot resolve, don’t match that man’s energy, calm yourself down, pinch yourself while the conflict is going to whatever the case may be. And then when that is all said and done, then you open up and you speak whatever it is. You need to speak; you speak your opinion. You speak your feelings. You speak your truth, how they say these days. And then resolve it when things are just kind of the dust has settled; you’ll benefit more from that than trying to match the man’s energy, lady. You are no match for any man. You really are not. I know you want to see it as a flex or whatever the case may be, but you’re not; you’re no match for any man. Don’t go trying to match a man’s energy. If you listen, you will learn some things that could have been prevented. So don’t go down that route. Okay. The last thing I want to talk about is this: What role do faith and values play in a marriage? Here’s the thing.
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It’s strength, faith and values-your shared values. You and the man you want to marry share the same values. Hopefully, you guys are discussing because if you and the guy that you’re trying to marry aren’t discussing, well, forget that. Forget the marriage. You might as well pack it up and say, this can’t even work. Okay. While you are dating to marry, you have to find out from the guy, the guy that you’re talking to. If both of you have similar values or similar beliefs in, you know, faith, because that is going to help keep your marriage strong. When the butterflies and the infatuation have died down, and the real marriage emerges because that is going to happen, it’s inevitable. There’s nothing you can do about it. That is going to happen. The, the, the, Ooh, he’s so cute. Oh, she’s so cute. Or whatever the case may be, it’ll die down. And there will come times where you, you, you, you look at the man, and you’re like, what am I doing here? It is in those times that you remember that marriage is not about love. First, marriage is about duty, honour, and respect. That is how love is. Is born in a marriage. And that is how love is strengthened in a marriage. See, love is a doing word. Love is an action word. The way you foster love in your marriage is by doing your duty, honour, and respect. If you can’t do those three things in your marriage, then your love, whatever infatuation you had or however love that you’ve got, your marriage was sitting on is going to disappear. Then you’re going to find yourself in the divorce courts. Drop down in the comment section. Let’s, let’s further this conversation.
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Let’s have a real conversation because this video is not for every woman. After all, not every woman is going to get married. And there are a few women that, you know, do not want to get married. I get that. But the majority of women want to get married. So if you can listen to this video to the very end and hear the things that I’m speaking on and start talking to apply them, it will benefit you in the long run. Please subscribe to my channel. I’m trying to grow my channel and monetize it by the end of March 2025. So it costs you nothing to subscribe. Just help your sister out as I give you valuable content. All right. See you in the comment section and also in the next video. Bye.
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