Psychology of Female Desire: Ladies, let’s be honest. If there is no medical condition involved in the reason for your attitude towards sex, you know you have a switch. Well, this switch is a button you can turn on or off, and when you want to, you can flip that switch with ease. But here is the real question. Why? Like why does that switch turn on so easily for the bad boys, the ones who don’t even deserve your love but suddenly go off when it comes to the loyal, committed husband? Another question. Another question is, why was intimacy effortless before marriage, but now it feels like a chore? I mean, why does that happen?
Well, at the start of a relationship, passion is intense. The excitement is there. The desire is real, and intimacy feels natural. But as time passes, something shifts. The connection weakens. The passion fades. And before that? Before you know it, sex becomes rare, forced, or non-existent. So, why does this happen? Let’s break it down. Because sex isn’t just an act. It’s a reflection of how a woman views her relationship. And for many wives, sex becomes a tool rather than an expression of true connection. Now, let’s talk about how sex becomes a tool. Sex is, for one, a tool for gratitude. This is so, so, so not good. Let’s talk about something no one wants to talk about and no one wants to admit. Sex is something used as a thank-you gift rather than an expression of love.
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
Ever heard, I mean, ever heard a woman say things like, ‘I should give him a kiss’? I should give him some tonight. I should give him some tonight. He’s been so, so nice to me.’ And someone else will say, ‘he took me on a trip, so I guess I owe him a lot.’ When intimacy is transactional, it loses its meaning. Now, imagine this: A man provides for his wife. He supports her. He listens to her. He loves her. And if, in the beginning, she shows gratitude through sex, and it is all going fine, what happens when gratitude fades? If sex was never about genuine desire, once the thank-you wears off, the connection crumbles. Sex should never be a reward system. If it is, it’s only a matter of time before it stops completely.
So, number two, sex is a tool for security. Some women use sex as a form of currency for security. If a man provides a home, pays the bills, and ensures stability, intimacy becomes an unspoken exchange. If she feels safe, she engages. If she doesn’t, she withdraws. But here’s the problem. When sex is a trade, real intimacy disappears. If a wife only connects when she needs something or when she needs attention, is she truly in marriage or just using her marriage? Let’s flip the script. Imagine if the husband only gives his wife attention when he wants sex. How would that feel? I know this happens to some men who do that. But then what in marriage is reduced to what they provide. This is why many good husbands feel unloved, unseen, and emotionally abandoned.
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
Number three, sex is seen as a tool for comfort. Let’s be honest once again. Every woman wants comfort. A stable home and emotional security. A stress-free life. These are some of the things women want. But comfort requires effort from both persons, from both partners. A good man deserves to come home to a happy wife. And a happy wife deserves to have a husband who shows up. Who shows up fully in the marriage. But if a wife only engages in intimacy when she feels completely comfortable, what happens when life gets hard? What happens? What if finances take a hit? What if stress builds up? What if there is conflict, or there are conflicts in one way or another? Definitely, conflicts will come up. So what happens then?
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
If comfort is the only motivation for intimacy, the moment things get tough, the marriage suffers. True intimacy is about connection and not just convenience. So, number four is sex as a tool for having children. This is a hard truth. But it is a truth. Some women only desire sex for one purpose and one purpose. To have children. They dream of a family. And they dream of a stable family to start with. A stable home and a future with kids. But once that goal is met and achieved, sex becomes less frequent and stops completely. Why? Because the mission is complete. But when a husband becomes just a sperm donor, the relationship loses its emotional depth. Now, the relationship has to be actually deep. That is what marriage is all about.
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
But if a wife gets busy with motherhood, the focus shifts to the children. The romantic connection fades. Soon, the husband feels like a stranger in his own home. Let’s talk about sex as a tool for financial gains. Let’s be real. Some women use sex to secure, to secure a wealthy lifestyle. It’s almost everywhere. They engage passionately when there is a luxurious trip on the table and when there’s an expensive gift involved in almost everything they do. When there’s a promise of financial stability. But here’s the question: What happens when the money disappears? Crickets, right? What really does happen? If a marriage was built on transactional intimacy, then what happens when financial hardship comes? So does emotional detachment. They come hand in hand. Love should never be based on what a husband can buy.
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
Intimacy should never be a business exchange. If sex is bargained like a contract, a marriage will never feel real. So then, let’s talk about the dangerous cycle of scheduled sex. Here is where it gets worse. So why schedule sex to keep the marriage going? To keep the marriage running? It could be twice a month. Just enough to avoid complaints. It could be just enough to maintain the illusion of a happy marriage. It could be just enough to keep the peace. But what happens when intimacy becomes an obligation rather than a connection? Resentment builds up. Desire disappears. Love starts to feel like a duty. Not a joy. Good men struggle with this. This is why good men struggle with this. Good men feel trapped. They try to understand.
They try to fix things. They try to be patient. But no matter how much effort they put in, the truth remains. If a woman mentally switches off, nothing, absolutely nothing, turns her back on except herself. So what’s the solution? Ladies own your happiness. Intimacy isn’t about fulfilling a duty. It’s about creating a connection that lasts. If you feel disconnected from your husband, ask yourself, is it really him, or is there something deeper at play? Has intimacy become a tool instead of an expression of love? A strong marriage starts with honest communication. Emotional presence and real connection. Not just obligations. So do not expect your wife to be like having this in her head saying, ‘Wife, it’s your duty. You’re supposed to do this. You’re supposed to do that.’ Create an opportunity for her.
Still on Psychology of Female Desire
Create an environment for her to be able to make herself happy. It’s in her to know what makes her happy. The moment your wife is able to figure it out, she spreads that goodness in the house. But women, you have to be consciously ready to be happy. Because happiness is just like cooking, it’s just like baking. The moment you are able to prepare your meal, you want to share. You automatically will not want to eat it yourself. You want people to compliment you. So that is how it is. You want to share. And the moment you share it, it lights up your entire house. So here are my final thoughts. Sex should never be a reward. Sex should never be a transaction. Sex should be an expression of love, desire, and true partnership. If we want strong marriages, we need real intimacy. Not just physical, but emotional and spiritual too. I hope this has helped in one way or another. And I would like you to share some thoughts below. And we’ll meet in the next one.
200 IQ Man: “God exists on this plane of reality”
Would you like to Earn Money Online with just your mobile device?
If yes then click on the link below:
https://earnbean.ng/
