Questions for Engaged Christian Couples: 64 questions to ask before you get engaged. These essential questions for Christians help you to get to know the other person. You know, sometimes people walk into marriage with very high expectations and low preparation. And like Jacob, they go to sleep with Rachel and wake up with Leah. Meaning who they thought they married is not the same person. Now, it’s true that we change throughout time. But I’ve seen a lot of people go into marriage and they actually don’t know the other person. They’re afraid to ask questions, and thnow, don’t want to ruin that moment. And one of the things that I did on my first date with my wife is that I don’t recommend you ask these questions on the first date.
I did it, but I just asked very hard questions. And I’m going to present a lot of those questions here. And it really helped me to know you know my wife at the time. She was just a girlfriend. And then it, you know, instead of going later and finding that out. I was able to have those answers right away. Again, you shouldn’t do it like I did it. But if you are getting engaged or you’re considering getting engaged and you’ve never asked any of these questions. Then you should do it right away. If you are getting engaged or you’re considering getting engaged and you’ve never asked any of these questions, it would be awkward to start asking them and then think, ‘Hey, should I have proposed or not?’ When you’re already planning the wedding, and you still have a lot of questions.
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
And so let’s go with it.
1: Are you born again? What is your testimony of salvation?
2: Do you feel like you’ve discovered your purpose in life yet? If so, how would you describe it?
3:Are you more conservative or progressive in your beliefs?
4: How many kids would you like to have? And how soon after marriage do you envision starting a family?
5: Do you tithe? If so, how often and how much? Now some people are like why are you asking about tithing? Well, according to Malachi, people who don’t tithe are thieves. You don’t want to marry a thief. Plus, if they’re not generous with God, they don’t honour God in their finances, and you’re going to want to honour God. You’re going to have issues.
So it’s important to find out.
6: What is your 5-year or 10-year career goal? Like, what do you hope to accomplish in your life?
7: What is your love language, and if they don’t know what that is, you know, you can just kind of explain those five love languages from, um, the famous book on five love languages.
8: When we disagree, how do you like to handle it? Do you need a space or do you prefer to talk it out right away? It’s very important. This is a love affair. It might not seem like a big deal, but when you get married, some people need space, and other people need to talk right away.
9: How much debt do you have, including loans, cars, and collections?
Now again, this may seem like there are a lot of personal things, but their debt is going to become yours. Some people like been bankrupt many times, and they have a lot of student loans; you want to know what you’re getting yourself into.
10: what is your credit score? Yeah, very important.
11: how much do you save each month?
12: how much are your monthly expenses?
13: how do you feel about joint or separate bank accounts? What is your vision for budgeting as a couple? People don’t talk about these things, but then they get married turns out a husband has his account, and the wife has his own, so the wife wants to be together. The husband says no, it’s important that you talk about it.
14: how do you handle stress and pressure? Some people shut down; some people disappear. Some people go to a club. How do you handle stress and pressure?
15: What are your hobbies, and how do you spend your free time? Are you into video games, movies, golf, sports reading? How do you spend your free time?
16: How many times a year would you like to travel? Some people are travel junkies. You want to know if they’re Like the day travel is their vision for life and you, on the other hand, do not like travelling, it would be good to know.
17: which household chores would be your responsibility? Now, sometimes it’s best to ask, what did your mom and dad do in their marriage?
Like, did Dad take the garbage out, and Mom cleaned the house and prepared the food? Would she stay home, mom? Because it will be kind of the cue of where this person’s idea, unconscious roles they have concerning your relationship.
18: This is a deal breaker for some. How do you feel about pets in the house? Dogs or cats?
19: what are your eating habits and dietary preferences? Like, are they vegan? Do they like to eat out all the time? Like, what is their eating habits and dietary preferences?
20: how do you approach sexual intimacy and expectations? Now. This is a hard question to ask, but what is your body count? Meaning, are you a virgin? And if you’re not, did you sleep with people? How many people?
Is it just the opposite sex? Some people don’t feel comfortable asking those questions. They’re like, well, the past life is under the blood. Yes, but at the same time, later on, you will stumble upon things from the past life. And it’s good to know those things. And if you do ask those questions, you know, you have to close that case and not keep bringing that up so that you don’t also bring shame and guilt to that person.
21: How do you handle interference from in-laws or other family members? This is a big problem in marriages where, you know, the son would, you know, reach out to mom for everything, or the daughter would constantly have her dad be involved in every single thing.
And in-laws could destroy that marriage.
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
22: What are your fears about marriage? Or what do you think will be the hardest part about being married?
23: What are your views on parenting styles and values? Some people believe in spanking their kids. Some people don’t believe in that. More of a time-outs.
24: when it comes to parenting, what’s something you would do differently from your parents and what you would want to carry on for your kids? That’s a huge question because that’ll help you to see where they’re at and how they view parenting based on how they’ve been parented.
25: If we struggle with fertility, meaning we can’t have kids, what are your views on reproductive medicine? Like IVF or seeking medical intervention?
Or do we wait on God?
26: If we don’t have children, or even if we do have children, are you open to adoption?
27: How do you think we should handle caring for elderly family members like mom and dad? And what will be the role that we want to have? Do we let them live with us? Do we financially support them? You know, what’s going to be our role in helping and caring for our elderly parents?
28: What is your vision for our retirement? Do you picture us relaxing, travelling, or doing something entirely different?
29: Are you currently saving for retirement?
30: How many times a week or a month would you like to see your friends?
Still on the Topic Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
Is this going to be a daily thing, a weekly thing that you’re going to go and hang out with your friends, or you will never do it?
31: What are your thoughts on getting a prenup agreement? Some people are rich, and that’s their big deal: they are going to get a prenup agreement, which isis an introduction to divorce, but it’s more than that. My opinion and a lot of people share that, but you must know. Are you getting into this, and are they expecting a prenup agreement?
32: Apart from future children, who would you like to include in your will? Are there promises you made to people that they will be included in your will that I need to be aware of?
33: Do you have any concerns about my social media profiles or the things that I post?
34:. Is there anyone I follow or who follows me that makes you feel uncomfortable and worries you?
35: How do you feel about having access to each other’s phones and personal messages? Number thirty-six. How do you view the role of a husband and a wife as described in the Bible? What Christian authors or speakers have influenced your view on marriage? Number thirty-eight. What importance do you place on sexual purity within our relationship, and what are our boundaries? Number thirty-nine. How do you envision our prayer life together as a couple? Are we going to be praying every day and doing devotions, or are we going to do it separately?
And every once in a while, we’ll discuss what we feel the Lord is speaking to us. Number forty: What are your views on transparency and accountability in our spiritual life? Like, do we tell each other everything? Even what do we struggle with? Even if it’s like sexual temptation? If one of us falls into pornography, do we share that? Do you want to know that? Or do you want me to go to somebody else and share and get help? Number forty-one: How do we handle spiritual disagreements? If we’re going to have disagreements, what are we going to do? Is the wife going to submit to the husband? Or they’re both going to agree to disagree? Forty-two. What are your expectations about participating in small groups or Bible studies together?
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
Are you OKokay and open to us being in a small group? Some people are very anti-small groups; they want to go to church on Sunday, and that’s it. Forty-three. What are you going to do if our children will question their faith? Number forty-four. How do we support each other’s spiritual growth? Number forty-five. What are your thoughts on adopting a lifestyle that might be comfortable and counter-cultural in today’s society? Even things like you know, homeschooling your children and not participating in Halloween, and so many other things that culture celebrates. Number forty-six. Now, these are more theological questions. What are your views on once saved, always saved? Meaning do you believe that Christians can forfeit their salvation and they can turn away from God if they choose to? Number forty-seven.
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
Do you believe that Christians can be demon-possessed, demon-oppressed, or demonized? What does the spiritual attack look like in your personal spiritual life? Like, how would you define that? Can Christians have demons pretty much? Number forty-eight. What is your understanding of the gift of tongues? Do you believe that it’s a gift that can and should be practised today and should be used in a corporate and private worship setting? Do you speak in tongues? Do you believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit? Number forty-nine. What are your beliefs regarding the timing of rapture in relationship to tribulation? Number fifty. What do you consider cheating? Flirting, emotional cheating or a physical, sexual encounter? Number fifty-one. What are your views on travelling with friends without each other?
Now, we’re mainly assuming male with male, girls with girls. Fifty-two. What do you like about your parents’ marriage that you would like to continue in ours? And what is something you don’t like you do not want to be repeated? Number fifty-three. What are things in the relationship you would consider as deal breakers? And what are some things that would make you walk away if they happened? Number fifty-four. Is there anything in your past that you haven’t been healed from? Number fifty-five. What do you think about living in the city versus the suburbs? Or do you have a vision of where you want to settle down? Number fifty-six. Is there anyone in our acquaintance or current friend circle that you have had more than a friendship with that I should be aware of?
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
Number fifty-seven. Would you want to be a stay-at-home parent, or would you prefer both of us to work, and how would we handle that balance? Number fifty-eight. How do you feel about spending holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays with both of our families or how are we going to balance that? Number fifty-nine. What are your views on tattoos? Number sixty. What are your views on drinking alcohol? Number sixty-one. What does respect look like to you? Number sixty-two. What makes you feel loved? Number sixty-three. How do you feel about having close friends of the opposite sex once we are married? What boundaries, if any, would you want to be set? And the last question, number sixty-four. How important is physical appearance to you in your partner?
So these are some questions; again, some of you probably have listened to them, and you said, Man, that’s a great question. Let me know that in the comments below or some questions you’ve heard, you’re like, I will never ask that question. That is, you know, that shouldn’t be asked. Let me know also in the comments, and let me know what other questions you asked or would ask if you’re not dating that I didn’t mention. , you know, tell people that before you’re married, doubt your decisions. When you’re married, that’s it. You’re locked in. Go for it. And a lot of people, what they do is, they do the opposite. They don’t question anything. They don’t ask any questions. And then they get married and then they start to question everything.
Still on Questions for Engaged Christian Couples:
As long as you’re not married, question everything. Ask. This doesn’t mean that you don’t love this person. You want to get to know this person. And certain things are deal breakers. And if they are, it’s better that you find them out early instead of getting engaged and, you know, two weeks before the wedding, you pull the plug because you have enormous amounts of doubts and you feel like you’ve made a mistake. And some people, with the feeling, I’ve made a mistake because they find answers to questions that they should have asked earlier. They go with that feeling into marriage, and then it begins to create a crack in their marriage because they carry this idea that I made a mistake. This does not mean that you will agree on every single thing. But some things matter. You should come into agreement because the Bible says, how can two walk together if they don’t agree? Thank you for watching this video, and I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know in the comments your thoughts, some questions that you found interesting, some questions you found offensive, and some questions that I should have added.
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